Let’s just start this up with a little update. I’ve decided I’m going to post more on a whim. Partially because I won’t post routines here, but also because I find there are a lot of little life lessons, which I feel I can draw from and put on here to help myself learn and grow, and perhaps give others a little insight. Plus it’s fun! Why not post a blog post here and there without schedule.
Recently I’ve been watching friends graduate from University left and right. I think I had something like 5 or 6 friends all graduate on the same DAY. It’s crazy, and I am so unbelievably happy for them, but at the same time, I find myself feeling this immense amount of sadness. Like they’ve accomplished something and I haven’t. For a couple of days I tried to just put it away, because I really am happy for them. I saw another friend graduate today and it hit me AGAIN.
Let’s be honest, pushing anything down and away never really works. I suppose I thought it would pass, and perhaps it would have, but I think in the long run, it’s better to figure this out and make myself realize I don’t need to feel upset about anything.
Since this is based in an insecurity, I thought that even if it did pass, there is something greater I should be looking into.
First off, school has never been for me, and to see the people who have gone to university because they felt it was what they needed to do, rather than what they wanted to do, has made me feel more comfortable in my own decisions. Let’s just say, they weren’t happy. I’m very glad I chose not to go, this gave me the opportunity to start going to school when I felt ready, and even finding ways to work classes into my own schedule better.
I had to combat a lot of pressure to go to a 4 year university, I still do in fact. Feeling like you didn’t achieve what you were supposed to is a serious downer. Talk about feeling like a failure…
When I have that feeling of failure tug at me, I pause to think of why I didn’t go in the first place. I didn’t go, because it made me happier not to go. To me, the benefit of going to a university at that time was outweighed by the happiness and other goals I could achieve by not going.
That is what makes me feel better. I find comparing myself to others to be very deadly. But I have found that when you had the ability to make a decision, it can be easier to accept that it’s OK. Even if now you wish you had done something differently. At the time, it was probably better for you not do said “thing”.
I also have achieved quite a bit. I’ve taken classes at a local community college to find my areas of interest, I’ve become a licensed helicopter pilot and a licensed yoga instructor, AND I’ve got this awesome YouTube and blog thing going for me. I tried things, had fun, and I learned a lot about myself. Did I mention I also got married? All this in the time it took them to get one degree! Psh, I’m wonderful.
That’s a joke! I am wonderful, but they all got something really valuable too. All my friends have had great life experiences, made friends, been in relationships. Heck, I have friends who have been busting their butts off making movies and getting amazing internships! We’ve ALL done amazing things.
I’m having this nice revelation, where, if you take a step back from it all, you’ll notice that you and all of your friends are all equally wonderful in your own ways.
I’d also like to point out that if you just spent the past 4 years working at a McDonald’s or cleaning toilets, you’re just as wonderful too. You’ve worked and earned money, and I’m sure you’ve learned a thing or two, even if you haven’t realized it. I don’t believe anyone’s experiences are any less wonderful or important.
If you’re ever feeling a tab jealous, just take a step back and look at all the different wonderful things you and your friends have done, and even those who you’re jealous of are all super different from each other.
Ahh, I’m definitely happy for everyone now.